Here I am, 12:03, January 1st, 2011.
Home. In the PJs, bumming around.
Not the expected situation for most, but here I find myself, almost completely content.
After coming in hot off the holidays and a two and a half week working binge, I find myself just needing a moment. And as timing would have it, New Year’s presents herself to force me to reflect and plan for the future. So as 2010 wrapped up, now six minutes ago, I find that I have accomplished really, what I had set out to do: school, and work. Really, when looked at now, is only two things. Not much to jump for joy over, but what else can I do?
Right now, I feel like school isn’t really doing much for me. I even would go so far as to say it is holding me back. I’m an English major, and don’t get me wrong, I love it, and couldn’t even dream about studying anything else, but at this point in my life, I feel like once I’ve got the diploma (aka a piece of paper) that will be all I have–an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper. I won’t have that secret power of job getting skills that they whisper to you as you graduate, and I most likely won’t just fall into some incredible position as an editor of a popular literary journal. I don’t see myself being a teacher, for now at least, and I don’t see the market of creative writers opening up soon. But I guess I can just rack it up to experience. I think school has taught me just enough to know that I know nothing. Awe, shucks.
As for work–well, it’s work. I love everyone I work with, and it really is a fairly good gig.
But here I am again, in a sort of slump, feeling uncreative and unproductive. Frustrated. So I am planning on 2011 bringing a solution to that.
I have found something that always lightens my spirits is 1) English Breakfast hot black tea with honey. It warms the soul. And 2) a good book. Right now, I’m reading This is Not Chick Lit, a collection of short fiction stories. I picked it up, because one of my instructors for a course is published in there, and so far every story I have read is amazing, and really inspiring!
I love the idea of the new year. It brings so much opportunity for progress and accomplishments, and I love the way looking forward to things feels. Even with silly things like the mail; usually it’s just bills, but I love the idea that someone sent a letter, especially for me, days before, and it has finally reached me and I get to see what it is. Silly!
So here’s to keeping those New Year’s Resolutions!
Cheers (if you’re out there).