Tag Archives: anxiety

New Year – New…(fill in the blank)

Here I am, 12:03, January 1st, 2011.

Home. In the PJs, bumming around.

Not the expected situation for most, but here I find myself, almost completely content.

After coming in hot off the holidays and a two and a half week working binge, I find myself just needing a moment. And as timing would have it, New Year’s presents herself to force me to reflect and plan for the future. So as 2010 wrapped up, now six minutes ago, I find that I have accomplished really, what I had set out to do: school, and work. Really, when looked at now, is only two things. Not much to jump for joy over, but what else can I do?

Right now, I feel like school isn’t really doing much for me. I even would go so far as to say it is holding me back. I’m an English major, and don’t get me wrong, I love it, and couldn’t even dream about studying anything else, but at this point in my life, I feel like once I’ve got the diploma (aka a piece of paper) that will be all I have–an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper. I won’t have that secret power of job getting skills that they whisper to you as you graduate, and I most likely won’t just fall into some incredible position as an editor of a popular literary journal. I don’t see myself being a teacher, for now at least, and I don’t see the market of creative writers opening up soon. But I guess I can just rack it up to experience. I think school has taught me just enough to know that I know nothing. Awe, shucks.

As for work–well, it’s work. I love everyone I work with, and it really is a fairly good gig.

But here I am again, in a sort of slump, feeling uncreative and unproductive. Frustrated. So I am planning on 2011 bringing a solution to that.

I have found something that always lightens my spirits is 1) English Breakfast hot black tea with honey. It warms the soul. And 2) a good book. Right now, I’m reading This is Not Chick Lit, a collection of short fiction stories. I picked it up, because one of my instructors for a course is published in there, and so far every story I have read is amazing, and really inspiring!

I love the idea of the new year. It brings so much opportunity for progress and accomplishments, and I love the way looking forward to things feels. Even with silly things like the mail; usually it’s just bills, but I love the idea that someone sent a letter, especially for me, days before, and it has finally reached me and I get to see what it is. Silly!

So here’s to keeping those New Year’s Resolutions!

Cheers (if you’re out there).

 

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Ready, set, (holding breath). Anxiety.

I absolutely hate anxiety. I participated in track in high school, and my race running career was short-lived for several reasons.

  1. Let’s face it: I’m not a fast runner. Turns out to be pretty crucial.
  2. That five second interval that one must wait for the gun to fire, to signal the beginning of the race was absolutely overwhelming to me. I can’t stand that type of anticipation!
  3. I’m not athletic. Turns out that is pretty crucial too.

Anyways, to get to my point, I’ve had a fairly successful week in terms of getting some pillows made, and now, I’m just waiting!

I’ve done tons of research involving Etsy and from that I’ve gathered that new sellers need to be patient. So please, will me the power of patience, hehe! So to bide the time until someone finds me and loves my pillows as much as I do…I will continue to gather beautiful fabric, and keep making pillows to my heart’s content.

 

In other developments, I have began to find eco-friendly alternatives in both my fabric choices and the actual pillow inserts. I purchased some Organic fabric, designed by Cloud 9 Fabrics, from no other store than the amazing Fancy Tiger! As for the pillows, I’ve ordered some from an online store that are made from corn, and I’m looking into a bamboo alternative. This is really exciting, because I thought this was more of a long-term goal, and I’m so glad to venture into this area so soon!

I really want to let everyone know how much I appreciate you supporting me. My family and my friends have really been amazing, and I have really been relying on you all for support! I heart you so much!

As for my anxiety, it will hopefully subside soon. It is definitely magnified this week, because of finals! Gag. One more week. One. More. Week. Then I will have ample time to focus on Lilly Ella Collections!

Bless you for being here.

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